


Stone Cold

by onbrokenfeet



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alt!Carm, F/F, kind of angsty but y'know, universe hopping alternate universe?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 23:45:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9852371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onbrokenfeet/pseuds/onbrokenfeet
Summary: In their final moments of existence, LaFontaine decides to do you a favor. With the help of that dusty old book closet, they rip you apart, to put you back together in a world where you can finally get the good-bye you always wanted.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey ya'll! Here's a sad yet happy little one-shot for all you alt!carm lovers out there. If you're waiting on Shipwrecks, it should be up later this week. If you're waiting on Freewheel, it should be returning next week! Sorry for the lack of update last week, I've been feeling pretty bummed about cancelling my Clexacon trip and ugh. Anyway, enjoy this awkward little whatever. 
> 
> Hit me up on Tumblr and we'll make beautiful tragedies together - mymindwandersonbrokenfeet

_"God knows that I try to feel happy for you for you. Know that I am, even if I can’t understand. I’ll take the pain, give me the truth. Me and my heart? We’ll make it through. If happy is her, I’m happy for you." - Stone Cold - Demi Lovato_

 

She was right there.   
  
She was in your arms, and she promised not to leave. You heard her heartbeat for the last time once again. Mattie is beside you ranting and stomping that stupid old man’s heart into oblivion. You can’t hear a word she’s saying, you can only hear that heartbeat echoing in your ears.   
  
“I can’t believe-” A few more squishy stops. “She killed me, that little-”   
  
Everything around you is distant and empty. Even if you tried to move, you’re sure you’d fall.   
  
“She was alive,” you say softly.   
  
“And I was dead,” Mattie snaps.   
  
“She was alive,” you repeat. There’s a world out there where Laura lived. There’s a world where you stood up to mother. There’s a world where the story had a happy ending.   
  
“And I was dead,” Mattie repeats, with additional emphasis to show how dead she was.   
  
“We all will be soon,” another voice says. Mattie stomps once more before inspecting the source of the sound. You lazily move your head and you realize you’re crying. You see someone on the stairs in a white jumpsuit, but everything is blurry under your tears.   
  
“This universe is temporary in order to save that one,” LaFontaine says. “The library is most likely dismembering us all as we speak.”   
  
“Great,” Mattie says, throwing her hands into the air. “I get to die again to save the little princess and her band of merry idiots.”   
  
“I’m not dealing with it well either,” LaFontaine agrees. You wipe your face. “I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s better than dying for nothing.”   
  
You look back down at the floor and continue your moping in what you hope will soon be peace. You’ve died before, you’ve seen the end of all things and the emptiness of eternity. Even if it wasn’t permanent, you know what lies on the other side. Maybe, just maybe, in the eternal dark you’ll find your Laura. Maybe you can find her and start the whole story over. You know you can’t, but you try to hold out some sort of hope. Laura would have.   
  
“Well, I’m going to use my last hours on Earth to have some fun then,” Mattie says. “A last meal of terrified college kids fit for a queen. Care to join, Carmilla?”   
  
You only look at her and she sighs. “In any case, it’s been a great few centuries, real or not. See you on the other side, kitty cat.”   
  
Mattie’s fangs appear with a tsk and she zooms out the door. You’re sure the last sound you’ll ever hear is screaming college students. It’s fairly fitting, you think.   
  
“She’s fun,” LaFontaine says.   
  
“You should have seen her a couple hundred years ago,” you reply.   
  
“I’d rather not,” they reply. “But, I do have one last experiment to test if you want to give it a try.”   
  
“Will it let me see her again?”   
  
“Maybe,” they reply. You look to them with a scoff.   
  
“Don’t mess with me,” you say. “Please.”   
  
“I’m not,” they say with their hands raised. “I’m already getting wiped from existence, I don’t think slow death by angry vampire is a better way to go.”   
  
“What’s the experiment?”   
  
They gesture up the stairs and you nod. You follow them through the dusty old book closet and try to keep your eyes on where you’re going. The heartbeat never leaves your ears, the smell of her hair, the way she smiles. You grit your teeth as LaFontaine walks through a slanted hallway and knocks six times on the left side of a door. They open it to an absolute mess. There are pipes, wires, and tools everywhere. Some things seem connected, some disconnected, some new, some old.   
  
“Technically it isn’t mine,” they explain. “Some of the old alchemy club students apparently dabbled a bit in other fields.”   
  
“How long do we have until our universe collapses?”   
  
“No idea,” they say. “So I’ll make this quick. The library showed me this room a while back. I read some of the old plans, and it looks like it’s some kind of teleporter. I modified it a bit, and it might be able to jump you to the other universe. I don’t know when or where and I can’t even guarantee it’ll be the right one, but it’ll take you somewhere.”   
  
“Will I be able to get back?”   
  
The library groans and LaFontaine nods. “It’s a temporary jump.”    
  
“What are the odds that I’ll see Laura again?”   
  
“Honestly? Extremely slim, nearly impossible.” LaF nods with a straight face. The library groans again. “But, it seems the library might be willing to do some of the work.”   
  
“I can not believe you learned to speak library,” you say.   
  
“I’ve had a lot of free time,” they say. They gesture towards a metal platform on the far side of the room and look at you. “So what do you say?”   
  
“It’s worth a shot,” you reply. “For her.”   
  
“Let’s get weird,” LaFontaine says. You step onto the platform and watch them work. They run across the room, hitting buttons, pulling levers, inputting codes. The library howls and they mutter something incoherent to it. These are your last moments on Earth, praying you don’t end up somewhere she never existed.   
  
“If you see Frosh,” they yell over the sound of the machine’s hum. “Tell her I said hi!”   
  
“I will,” you say.   
  
“Good luck!” They yell. There’s a flash of blue and for a moment, you feel like you’re being torn apart. You end up seeing flashes of strange places as LaF works out the coordinates. You see an old ship, an old trailer, a bar, a diner, a softball field, a bookstore, and by the time you settle in one place, you feel sick. The room around you spins and you try to keep your legs steady.   
  
“Where am I?” you whisper to the room. You wait for the dark room to stay still and start to look around. It’s a quaint space and seemingly peaceful. There’s a Tardis mug on the coffee table in front of you and you nearly jump for joy.  
  
“Laura,” you say.   
  
“Carm?” a voice calls. You turn to see that you’re in a living room, and that the kitchen is just beyond the wall. “Did you forget your keys again?”   
  
“Laura!” You call. Weak legs or not, you’re running. You dart into the kitchen and she’s there. She’s there and she’s alive and she looks adorable in her pajamas. She’s cooking dinner and it’s real. It’s all so real.   
  
“Are you oka-”   
  
You grab onto her tightly and she rests her hands on your back.   
  
“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” you say softly. “ _Again_.”   
  
“Okay, please explain,” she says. You let her go and you admire her face, even with how confused she looks.   
  
“I uh-” you start. You chew on your lip and look for an explanation. The jump is temporary, you remind yourself. These are your last moments with her.   
  
“Have fangs,” she says with a gasp. You realize your fang is digging into your lip and retract it.   
  
“Holy hufflepuff,” she says.   
  
“Do I not have fangs in this universe?”   
  
“Universe? What-”   
  
“You died and you came back,” you explain. “And then you left again, so I had to come and find you. At least to say goodbye.”   
  
She puts her head in her hands and runs her fingers through her hair. “You’re the other Carmilla.”   
  
“I am,” you say.   
  
“I thought that universe collapsed.”   
  
“It is collapsing. This is a temporary jump, I don’t know how long I have. I just wanted to see you.”   
  
“Well this isn’t exactly how I planned my night going,” she says. She takes a moment to adjust and nods.   
  
“Carm-” she pauses. “ _You_ will be home soon.”   
  
“We stayed together,” you say with a smile. You’re glad to know that in this world, in this place, you never gave her up.  
  
“We did,” she replies with a slight smile. She seems to get lost in a memory before clearing her throat. “I’m sorry,” she says. “For leaving. I really am. I didn’t have a choice.”   
  
“I know,” you say. “It was worth it if you got to live somewhere.”   
  
She nods and for a moment, she frowns. “Well, you’re here now, so let me make it up to you.”   
  
You smile, mindful of your fangs, and follow her lead.   
  
Paris was always more beautiful at night in your opinion.   
  
You sit on the roof, torn between watching the lights below and the stars above. You settle on watching her as she speaks. The way her hands move when she gets into a story. The way she talks through a smile when painting you as a hero. She chuckles a couple times, and comes close to tears a couple of others. She tells you everything as quickly as you can, and by the time it’s over, you watch the city below you breathing and living. This is real, and you aren’t.   
  
“So we really beat Mother,” you say with a smile.   
  
“We really did,” she replies.   
  
“I’m sorry,” you say with an uneasy expression. “That you died here too.”   
  
“Oh,” she nods. “Well, it was only temporary, at least, and for a good cause.”   
  
“You always did put saving the world first,” you reply.   
  
“You did too sometimes,” she says.   
  
“No,” you shake your head. “I put _you_ first.”   
  
She nods and sighs. “You did,” she agrees. “Even now.”   
  
“What do you mean?”   
  
“You’re about to fade out of existence, you could have gone anywhere with that machine, and you chose to come here, to see _me_ in my _pajamas_.”   
  
“You were the only person that believed in me,” you reply. “Which is pretty comforting to someone who won’t exist soon.”   
  
She nods and looks out to the city. The rooftop is chilly but the air is soothing. There’s a dead plant up here you assume was someone’s attempt at starting a garden. You never could imagine Laura having a green thumb.   
  
“Laura?” You hear someone call. You stiffen at the sound of your own voice.   
  
“I’ll be right down!” She calls. “You’re home, so I have to go see you?” She says with an uneven tone. You laugh.   
  
“Right,” you say. “Thank you, for this,” you say.   
  
“Thanks for stopping by,” she replies. “Do you uh- do you want to come meet her?”   
  
You think about it. You think about meeting the you that actually stood up to mother. You consider the hundreds of questions you have. You consider looking into a mirror that shows you who you could have been. You’re sure that’s a thing in a book Laura mentioned, but you shake your head.   
  
“I think you’ve had enough excitement for one evening,” you say. “I’ll probably be gone soon.”   
  
“Well-” she stops. She pulls you in for a hug, warm and so comforting. You feel her heart beating against you and you want to stay. You want to stay in the world where she lived.   
  
“I love you still,” she says. “And I believe in you.”   
  
It’s all you ever wanted to hear.   
  
“I love you too,” you say. You hug her tightly and you hear the other you calling for her again.   
  
“I have to go,” she says. “Again.”   
  
“I know,” you say with a nod. She whispers the good-bye you always wished you had gotten and pecks you on the cheek. Something about it seems awkward to her, as if she’s cheating on other you with you.   
  
“By the way,” you say and she stops. “LaFontaine says hi.”   
  
She laughs. “Tell them I say hi too.”   
  
She climbs the fire escape back down to the window and you watch her go. You watch her and then you watch the city. You watch it glow and you imagine the world beneath you. You imagine the kisses, and questions about how your day was, you imagine a world where your heart beats with hers, you imagine how warm it is in bed with her every night. You imagine all the things you never got to have. As you feel yourself become ripped apart physically and emotionally, you find some form of peace. At the edge of your existence, with your world ready to collapse, you find peace in the good-bye you’d never gotten.   
  
You’re jealous of that other girl, that mirror that holds a better life. As you come to a world falling apart in reality, you tell LaFontaine the things you saw. You tell them their story as the world grows dark and strange. You hear that heartbeat pounding in your ears and you can feel her arms around you, and you tell them about your last good-bye.  
  
You tell them that everything is okay, because somewhere out there, there’s a story with a happy ending.

**Author's Note:**

> It doesn't make sense but neither do I, tbh.
> 
> Bonus : Laura tells Carmilla what happened and while she isn't thrilled about it (and she kind of freaks out), she's glad the other her found peace. They spend the night in a strange melancholy, with an extra plate at the table. Laura tries to forgive herself for letting an entire universe collapse to save her own, and reminds herself that everything she did mattered. Carmilla reminds herself that even if she isn't a hero, she did something. After all, there was a world out there where no one got a happy ending. 
> 
> Additional bonus : Mattie drained 16 college kids in under an hour, her new record. LaFontaine celebrates cracking the code of universal travel in their final moments and calls Perry to tell her the good news. Perry keeps up the denial of any supernatural forces, but congratulates LaF all the same.


End file.
